Chinese Quality

So far 2007 is starting to stand out as an amazing year for Chinese exports to the US.

The year started with poisoned pet food, then moved onto children's toys with high lead content, then counterfeit Colgate tooth paste made with ethylene glycol (automotive anti-freeze), then back to food with tainted fish and now as summer gets into full swing it looks like it's next going to be exploding tires. Just what in the hell is going on you ask?

Chinese manufacturers are having difficulties with the concept that dead consumers are less likely to make purchases than living ones.

Well the short answer is that between China's incomprehensibly large population and 5,000 years of capricious totalitarian rule from the first emperor through to the Communists of today the nation has, as a whole, a complete and utter disregard for the sanctity of human life. The question now is this the beginning of a trend that ends with people in Europe and North America simply avoiding anything made in China for fear of their own safety or will the Chinese buckle down and clean their act up? I'm not a particularly paranoid person but I'm not too far off from beginning to avoid Chinese products myself. And what happens to China and its economy if they do ruin their reputation?

Which gets us to where Chinese quality and cars meet... the crash test. Idiots in the press have been writing mindless articles that worry about the doom that Chinese auto makers spell for Detroit. After all the Japanese and Koreans make good cars and since the Chinese are also Asian their cars much be great too. Right. If you believe that then I have some great Spanish beers to sell you because they're European just like the Germans.

Exhibit 1 - The Jiangling Motors' Landwind

The test broke the dummy.
That's ZERO stars

This midsize SUV was trying to be the first Chinese car in the European market. It failed the crash test. And I don't mean it did "poor" on some overly cautious rating system like the IIHS, no, I mean it did not pass. Jiangling Motors was told to go away and redesign the SUV. Think about it. They knew the SUV was going to be tested and they knew what the tests were going to be and the car still failed. The only reason for such complete failure is that they either have some really lousy engineers on staff at Jiangling or they simply never even tried.

Exhibit 2 - The Brilliance BS6

You'll want to be a defensive driver in the BS6. "BS"?

This missize $30,000 sedan got one star. One. We in the US wonder what's wrong with Toyota with the new Tundra gets 4 stars, the BS6 got one. At $30k the BS6 is in no way an amazing bargain and at 40mph it collapses in on itself and kills the driver. This car, while approved for sale in Europe - barely - performed so badly that at least one dealer as decided that he in fact will not be selling the BS6.

Now from Business Week and Brilliance of North America comes word that they will be the first Chinese auto maker to penetrate into the US market. And with it Business Week worries, " As if Toyota's (TM ) overtaking General Motors (GM ) as the world's biggest car maker weren't enough distraction, Detroit is now bracing for an invasion of Chinese cars. Brilliance China Automotive". Bracing for the lose of loved ones involved in an accident in a Chinese car perhaps.

Just look at their website for one thing, none of the links work. How hard is that? More or less difficult than designing cars that implode on impact? And what's with the names of the cars? E series? E3, E5 and E7? Why don't you just rename the company Mercedes-Bavarian? Or maybe Benz Motor Works?

Quality, safety and reliability are, for the Chinese auto industry nothing more than works cut and pasted from the advertisements for cars made in other countries and while Chinese cars may, in some future date, pose a threat to the Big3, it won't be any time soon.