Fake car wins show

Many car enthusiasts find themselves living in towns and cities across America where the best they can hope, when it comes to street rods, for is the local “Cruise-in” night. I live on the extreme opposite of the spectrum where my garage is less than one mile from the grounds that host the GoodGuys PPG Nationals. The PPG Nationals with over 6,000 cars covering 360 acres is the largest show for street rods on Earth.

Every year on the weekend after July 4th the streets fill with thundering rolling art. Nearly all of the entries are trailed to Columbus but then must be taken off the trailers and driven into the show. This is the organizers nod to the car being cars and not just works of art.

From the 6,000+ cars in the show one overall winner is selected. The best comparison I can think of would be the Westminster dog show for an idea of just hard it is to win at the PPG Nationals. Many cars get retired from competition or sold after a PPG win. In the past I have always approved of the over all winner, though they might not be my personal favorite. This year, with the crown going to Roy Pigford's 1966 Nova, things have changed.


Roy's impressive, yet not completely all there ride.
I remember seeing this car at the show and I distinctly remember laughing at it. Why? No windshield wipers.

This is akin to ones need to have a willing suspension of disbelief when watching anything but period piece drama movies. Personally I can except quite a bit but once you cross that line, like a band of "evil" ninjas and a dragon defeating the combined modern military might of all the nations on Earth, and the bubble pops it's all over. Sure dragons are tough but what exactly is one 80 foot flying fire breathing lizard going to do against a supersonic F-15 Eagle that can hit it from 20 miles away? The movie never answered that question, it simply dropped you into the “after” world where a mechanized infantry division was match for a band of decidedly bloody ninjas. Right.

For myself cars are to be driven, period. Accordingly certain accommodations need to be made to the gods of practicality to ensure they are drivable. Cars need things to make them fully functional on the road; radiators, brakes, tires and even wipers.


Those bit meaty tires might as well be slicks since this car can't handle the sprinkles.
That the car looks good I won't deny but so do clay design concepts and while his car may still be more practical than a lump of shaped clay without wipers it's just not a real car. Golf carts don’t have wipers.

Just as with the question of the dragon and the F-15 I am compelled to ask, “What do you do when it rains”. There are only two answers to that question. Either, “Pull over and wait.” Or “The car sits in a garage when not as shows, is not ever driven and therefore the question is moot.” In the fist case the answer is simply a unacceptable sacrifice to form at the foot of a rather needed function. If the second answer is the truth then Boo. Boo to you sir.

Undoubtedly there are those out there feeling the need to defend Mr. Pigford’s choice to disable his car, but be wary. I have not claimed he was “wrong” nor have I stated that he shouldn’t have won. My claim is that without wipers it’s not quite fully a car anymore, to say otherwise is pure Sophistry and asking for go-carts on the Interstates.